In this episode, Henri and Melissa delve into the evolution of masculine and feminine energies, sharing their personal journeys and the impact of traditional gender roles. They discuss the importance of balancing these energies within ourselves and society, emphasizing themes of nurturing, cooperation, competition, trust, vulnerability, and the transformative power of breathwork.
In this episode, Henri and Melissa discuss the evolution of the masculine and feminine energies. They share their personal experiences growing up with traditional gender roles and the impact it had on their understanding of masculinity and femininity. They explore the definitions of masculine and feminine energies and how they can be integrated within each individual. They emphasize the importance of nurturing and cooperation in creating balance between the two energies. Henri also shares his journey of discovering his feminine core and the challenges of finding his place in both masculine and feminine spaces. In this conversation, Henri and Melissa discuss the importance of balancing the masculine and feminine energies within ourselves and in society. They explore topics such as competition, trust among women, the need for vulnerability in men, and the power of cooperation and co-creation. They also highlight the role of breathwork in achieving this balance and offer insights into their own personal journeys of self-discovery and healing.
Takeaways
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Melissa Terese McLaughlin is a Breath Facilitator, Teacher, Shamanic Practitioner, and Modern Day Medicine Carrier with a unique approach to healing that has helped countless individuals worldwide. Her journey began in 2014 with a life-changing experience healing a back injury using her breath, leading her to study various holistic and shamanic practices. Melissa developed "Ceremonial Breath," a breathwork style that aids in releasing emotional blockages, reducing stress, and promoting well-being. She now dedicates her life to empowering others to use their breath to heal.
Melissa has refined her approach and created a formula and facilitator training for Ceremonial Breath. She also offers training in the Shamanic Energy tools of the Q'ero Peruvian Medicine Wheel. As the founder of Breathwork Worldwide and Circle of Sacred Breath, she supports healing and transformation through private sessions, group circles, and workshops. Melissa believes that breathwork can help everyone become whole and enhance their lives, integrating ancient practices with Western medicine for those seeking alternative therapeutic approaches.
Melissa holds a B.A. in Mass Communication from Emerson College and multiple certifications in Breath Facilitation, Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy, Neuroscience, Light Energy Healing, Sound Healing, and Entheogen Plant Facilitation and Integration. Based in Powhatan, Virginia, she lives with her husband Jamie, three boys, numerous farm animals, and a vibrant community formed through her offerings.
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Overview
01:23 Defining Masculine and Feminine Energies
28:16 The Power of Nurturing and Cooperation
34:09 Finding One's Place in Masculine and Feminine Spaces
36:59 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
37:50 Competition and Trust Among Women
40:46 Embracing Vulnerability
52:05 The Breath as a Representation of Masculine and Feminine Energies
01:00:18 Cooperation and Co-Creation
01:03:41 The Power of Breathwork
Henri (00:00.174)
Hi, welcome to today's episode of Living Beyond Expectations, a podcast dedicated to exploring what life could be like when we believe that we are the greatest source of our power. I'm Anrir Emile, your host, coach, and classic overachiever, and I'm honored to be joined today by Melissa Therese McLaughlin. She's a breath facilitator, teacher, shamanic practitioner, and modern day medicine carrier. Through her own personal explorations and wisdoms, she's developed a style of breath work she calls ceremonial breath.
which supports individuals in releasing emotional blockages, reducing stress and anxiety, and promoting overall wellbeing. She dedicates her life to empowering others to use their breath to heal. She is the founder of Breathwork Worldwide and Circle of Sacred Breath, two organizations dedicated to supporting people to heal and transform. And through the breath, she believes that everyone has the power to become whole and enhance their lives. And today we're gonna talk about the masculine and feminine.
and what that next stage of evolution in that conversation can look like. Where have we been? Where are we now? And where can we go? We'll explore how we can shift and integrate more of this collectively and individually, and become aware of where we are in our own journey with the masculine and feminine. Before we explore together, I wanna make sure that we're really aligned and really clear here. This is not about male,
Female, this is about the energies in the masculine and the feminine, which we all have within us, regardless of our sex, regardless of our gender expression. It's not masculine or feminine. It's masculine and feminine. Hi, Melissa. Welcome. Hi, Henri. It's so good to be here today. Thank you. I'm excited to share today. Yeah. And as always, this conversation is inscripted, but we have kind of a loose container in how we want to really set this up. But also we could just...
see where it goes. So that's part of the fun. So I wanted to get started to really kind of contextualize our conversation. And I'm really curious, what was it like growing up with your father? Yes. So my father was a doctor. And even that ended up itself, right? Parents and their, what their roles, their play, their job. That was a big thing back then, or even now.
Henri (02:22.478)
people label themselves by their job. But I say I grew up in a very traditional family in a sense of dad went to work and mom stayed home and took care of the children, right? And he was also the breadwinner. But the other aspect of my dad I will share is he was or is, still is, he's still with me, with us, a very well -known.
neurosurgeon in Virginia. And so on top of being right, the father figure, the breadwinner, the take care of the family, I go to work all day type of environment that I think a lot of us at my age grew up with. He also had this added feature of being very well known and also a doctor who literally saved hundreds of thousands of lives.
Literally a brain search. Yeah. And everywhere also too, I'll even bring in this, it's quite an honoring. My dad served in Vietnam too. So he was a doctor in Vietnam, which gave him his experience and then also elevated him to a place of chairman of the board of neurosurgery. There was also the Dr. Harold F. Young Neurosurgical Center. He was very big.
on research and finding new modalities for people to heal. Because imagine you having a brain tumor or a brain issue and how scary that must be. And so he was very well known. So I had the title, you're Dr. Young's daughter. So I grew up with that. That was that aspect.
And also though, do want to share, even though he was a bit of the authoritarianist, the father, I looked up to him very much. I love my dad. I love my dad very much. He was highly intelligent. Now I even can look upon that in reverence. His intelligence fascinated me. Brains and backs fascinated me as a child because of him.
Henri (04:42.99)
this curiosity I had and this knowledge and wisdom that I ultimately found out in my journey of the healer. That was my lineage. My mom was also a nurse, along with, you know, also the added feature of, you know, dad, the masculine is everything and women are maybe suppressed and belittled. However, my father was very loving.
Very loving. And we were raised extremely Catholic. I was the Catholic daughter, very involved with church, you know, from the beginning, music and choir, Eucharistic minister, that Catholic upbringing is really ingrained in me too. Sometimes I'll even say I'm a recovering Catholic. Right? We're all recovering Catholics because there's some stuff there. However, I can now look at the beauty.
Even in being raised that way as Catholic, you know, there are things I love so dearly about religion in and of itself. But you know, there's some things that need to be healed there too. Yeah. And so, you know, we don't have to go too far into it, but I think the other question of that is then what was it like for your mom? What was it like growing up with your mom? yeah. My mom was Martha Stewart, the provider, just.
amazing. I mean, my mom is why I'm who I am today. But again, back there, the modern or not the modern day caretaker back then, what am I saying? The traditional mom. We always had a hot meal on the table. Everything was home cooked. My mom, as a little girl, she would sew us clothes. My mom made our clothes.
And especially I remember she made, we all dance, my daughters, I have two older sisters and a younger brother. So she would make her daughters the costumes, which is super cool. She would make us our Easter dresses. Like she was so gifted. Like imagine back there in the day, I can't even sew now. I just sewed on my son's button on his pants. Like that's my - Winning. We did it. We did it.
Henri (07:07.086)
my God, my mom, you know, we used to make like Easter candy and Christmas candies and giving them out. Like who does that nowadays? I don't know. Maybe there are people out there who do it. I think men and women now maybe do it. But I mean, again, she was the modern day Martha Stewart, along with just taking care of us, you know, when we were sick, you know, when I had strep throat. I always had a glass of ginger ale by my bedside. Like my mom was the traditional.
mom, just beautiful, beautiful. But also her background though was a nurse. That's how my mom and dad met. Very traditionally also Catholic, you know, but my mom, interestingly enough, her name is Mary, Mother Mary. Yeah. You know, just, just beautiful, beautiful caretaker for us. Like I think back to my childhood and I really had a beautiful childhood.
Yeah. You know, no complaints. Yeah. And I think, you know, you kind of hinted to it already, but there is, you know, regardless, I think even from traditional meaning, you know, back back then before my lifetime or even now, I still think that there is some of that leftover traditional roles. And also, I think we're moving into what is a modern day couple. How do they show up? And what you mentioned earlier was kind of, you know, the authoritarian, the breadwinner, the.
really the kind of even just the hand movements like, huh, right? And then there's the, there's the, your mother who was the caretaker and really kind of sounding like the heart of the home. And I think that that leads really well into kind of getting an understanding, right? You have your father who's very clearly structured and of course has to be right. He's a brain surgeon, which is a very, very structured, very precise way of, of not just,
doing when you're, you know, sitting there cutting up like I'm looking like a steak, but cutting up someone's brain. But also I can imagine that that carries over into the way that you be with your children, with your friends and just generally in your life. And then you have the caretaker mother who's, you know, creating candy and creating dresses and doing all of the traditionally, you know, role of the wife and.
Henri (09:31.47)
when we think about how that kind of translates, right, to this idea of masculine feminine, again, not genitalia specific, but masculine feminine, I would love just to go through what you feel is kind of the definition of masculine and the definition of feminine and how that we can weave that all together here. Yeah, yes. And you know, one thing's coming in, one thing I'll say,
is now I realize, right, it's all perspective. As a little girl, you didn't know. That was just how things were. Now I can look back at and see that my mom really was, like you said, the heart of the family or the woman behind the man. And so I see that as a huge running theme growing up now. And now as we figure out what it really means to be divine feminine, because I do feel like we're still discovering that.
and also what the new divine masculine look like. Because again, we are still discovering this. I don't know if we have fully figured it out yet. And that's the beauty in all of this and even this conversation. But with that, I would say the traditional descriptions is again, the father figure being or the masculine.
being this very author, authoritative, you know, in control, very honored and revered, very strong, even, you know, in my thing, right? The masculine is strong. But along with that came some characteristics of competition, right? In the Roman Empire, they had to go into the the Colosseum and they had to fight each other. Arrgh! This anger.
Aggression like or it's kind of feels like that as I'm doing it Along with again the you know, the breadwinner or the financial provider so stability I guess we would call that the masculine is the stability aspect and the structure Yeah, structure in the doing the doingness of masculinity. Yeah, right You know kind of like the giver
Henri (11:53.71)
You know, and that's in a very beautiful way. Yeah. Ooh, yes. But with that too, because of their, that competition aspect or whatever, I think it's laced with maybe some, some type of manipulation or, and I don't want to get into the juicy negative words, but there is some stuff because it had to be that way. However, just recently I'm discovering that.
that the divine feminine are also carrying so many of these traits because we have both. We haven't necessarily moved into that. And then for me, the divine feminine then of course, is the home provider, is the nurturer, the receiver of everything and...
I think early on though, it became pretty apparent was kind of like I even remember being told as a little girl, like, don't speak, just look pretty that very depressed, suppressed feeling.
but the loving, giving, nurturer in that sense. And even with the feminine too, there's the element where it's also the intuition. Right. Right. It's the gut feeling. It's the reception of ideas and the collective and the knowledge that the masculine is more or less kind of the container for that. And I think what you're really hinting at too is, you know,
be pretty, speak when spoken to, be gentle and demure and those types of things. And that's really where the masculine kind of evolved to, for lack of a better word, got it kind of wrong. But I also think that you have an interesting perspective on that being what we needed for the time that we needed it. And so I'd love to hear more about how you've kind of come to that realization and what you think about that. Yeah.
Henri (14:04.43)
And so too, as I'm thinking about this too, there's so many different levels as I'm feeling into this. So it's like there's two things going on right now I feel in this conversation. So just to clarify, it's like the, I'm kind of sharing more of the pre -conceived ideas, because you were asking me about my childhood, right? Yeah. And so a lot of what I just shared about the masculine and the feminine really related to how it was in my childhood.
Right. You know, don't, you know, be seen and not heard. I remember being told that it wasn't good enough to be a doctor, that I could only be a nurse. That was the role of a female played. Right. Same thing with church too and the priest and the whole that really bothered me. That's a whole other story. But however, I went in and.
played roles even in the church to be a Eucharistic minister to sing in the choir and things because I longed for that. What I now call is the cooperation or the blending or the harmonizing of masculine and feminine. With your past, right? You're talking very appropriately. So as, you know, growing up and what you've been, even I guess, for lack of a better word, indoctrinated with.
Right. But once in some of the conversations that we've had throughout the time that I've known you, you've also talked about the kind of this oppressive, suppressive, you know, we could even call it the patriarchy. It was necessary for a time. And so I'm really curious kind of what led you to that insight. And if you could go into a little bit deeper, deeper explanation of that. Well, and I feel.
Right, so I know, so I can only look at myself, but I do feel like it's out there in the open. I'm just a reflection, right? Let's mirror some stuff back with this conversation. But I now see that my education in that traditional, you know, masculine, feminine representation by my mom and dad, but then everything else around me, even in my, you know, my first marriage, was my belief system.
Henri (16:23.022)
in this and these paradigms that are now being revolutionized, I'm going to call it. I don't want to say shattered, but a little shattered. They need to be shattered a little bit, however, need to be done from my perspective in a very gentle, supportive way. But that so so my teaching and my journey through that is that beautiful representation as I look at everything in beauty was exactly the wisdom and the knowledge I needed.
for my aspect of curiosity to come out and be like, wait a minute, that doesn't feel so good. That's not right. That's not, you know, so, cause I even fed into the system. I got married, had children and completely lost my identity. I was in an identity crisis when that happened. And I believe again, that that was part of the journey that got me into this space of, Ooh, okay, this is what really the divine.
feminine is and then the divine masculine but the acute awareness though that has come in now and I kind of feel like this is maybe a little bit more what I want to share and talk about and I think you too is the evolution into the awakening or the realization that there are these aspects both inside of us together yin and yang we'll call it yeah
And that the new found awareness right now is the healing and the aspect that there are divine masculine feminine embodiment in each of us. Yes. That is a huge healing. I'll call I'll use the word. I use that word lately, but a healing within our individual selves that is actually.
going to create the new evolution of our world that I think and believe is the ultimate healing. Because I believe if we can tap into these energies within ourselves, we can harmonize and create balance because it's about co -creation. And where I see strongly these beautiful divine masculine men are just dying for the opportunity.
Henri (18:46.382)
to use some of the characteristics of the divine feminine instead of the ones that they've been traditionally forced to use almost. Like there's like, is there another way? Like people don't even know that there is another way where we become into the nurturing humanitarian. And, you know, I'll just use the example of government, pretty easy and quick, cause solid literal thing. You know, war doesn't heal war. War doesn't heal war. And that's a very masculine aspect.
Truth. You know, you can't avoid that. This competition thing in war, that is not what is going to bring world peace. Just not. But if the nurturing defined feminine, like I feel like what we need to start asking ourselves is what would the mother do? Right? If you pull out that sword and you cut your brother,
You wouldn't hopefully you wouldn't continue stabbing him and doing that. No, you know, the mother would run over, hold them, bandage them up and try and heal that wound. And that that's the energy that I feel that I'm seeing coming through that we are trying to now start balancing out. And these aspects, by the way, are in all of us.
I have them too. And that's actually been my biggest reality is, ooh, I'm carrying these characteristics. How do I dissolve them? How do I merge them with my divine feminine self? And then the shocking thing was for me, are you ready for this one? yeah. Shoot, I had a little bit more divine masculine going on me than I wanted to admit.
That was a huge awareness for me just recently. It's like, wait a minute. But of course, a very dominant father. Right. Right. And to transmute that, I call it transmuting or dissolving, right? Because these pieces, parts of us, we want to make new or into better things. We don't want to kill them off. Yes. I think kind of. It's not about letting go or releasing. It's about taking it and making it something.
Henri (21:09.006)
more empowered, more of choice. Right. That's true evolution too, for me. It's like, you know, you have to keep this pieces parts of yourself. But the word nurture keeps coming through for me. I don't know what that is. It's like Mother of Angels, I like nurture. We're nurturing these parts of ourselves, you know, because like competition, that masculine thing, competition just wants to be loved, just like the mother, you know, let's give all those.
pieces, parts of ourselves that maybe have a negative vibration, some love. Yeah. And what's what comes up for me when you, when you talk about that is, and I'll share a little bit about my, my own personal journey within this briefly is growing up, I had a semi traditional kind of way of it, but not necessarily in the like,
the working and the caretaker, it was actually kind of the opposite where my dad was a little bit more checked out emotionally. He wasn't really there for us. And then my mother was both. My mother, she was the warrior who stood on business and she got shit done, right? While also tending to our boo -boos, right? And loving on us. And so she had to hold both. And so she had to be the nurturer and she also had to be the...
Henri (22:38.222)
I guess the one out that the one that went out and got shit done. Yeah. Okay. So well, I will share this with you. I would call it. So my mom was the CEO of the household. Hmm. Yeah. Now she didn't have to work. You know, my father really was the financial. So the money thing is there, right? That energetic is there, but nothing would have ever gotten done if it wasn't up for my mom. Really? Yeah.
And my dad did, you know, my dad actually kind of like, I mean, he really, not that he checked out, but he would leave, you know, four or five, six AM, especially if there was a head injury emergency at the hospital and won't come home till seven, eight, nine PM. Like there were days I wouldn't see my father. Yeah. You know, so, so that non -present masculine, maybe I feel like you described a little bit, wasn't around. Yeah.
And so what that also, I think, did for me, and I'd love to hear your perspective on this, is it created this perception, right? So when we talk about the wounded masculine or the wounded feminine or, you know, there's so many different ways that you can describe that. Part of that is what is the thing that was left over when we were kids and didn't have any of the language or the knowledge or the embodiment practices to really understand and be like, hey, I see that he's doing that, right? But...
this is what's really happening. So we didn't have any of that stuff. And so for me, I saw the woman, right? Again, in this case, assigning the gender and the woman is the one who does this. And the man is not to be trusted because the man doesn't do that, right? So what we're talking about is two very different kind of upbringings and relations to how that presented in our households. And so I think that that's really interesting, but it was then, you know,
what it's done for me since is kind of not trusting men to stand, you know, as the youth say, stand on business and to get shit done. It's the woman. I know we'll do that, right? But that's also, even within that, that is assuming that all women are fully in both their masculine and feminine, or even maybe arguably over -indexing in the masculine, which I think a big part of even kind of what you're talking about where you're like, I want to be the pastor too.
Henri (24:59.982)
Right? I want to be the, or, you know, or the priest. I want to be the priest and I want to lead, lead, lead. And I want to overindex on the masculine. And that's, I think even generationally, that's probably something that happened as a, as the pendulum swung from the, you know, suppressed, the woman's the caretaker. The woman is the one who does the costumes and the woman is the one who does the cooking and the meals and all of that. But they're not allowed in the workplace. And then suddenly now we're.
way on the other side of that where it's like, now we can, we can boss up. We're the boss bitches and we can do all of it. Right. And so now I wonder, you got one end and now you have the other. And where do we fall now? Where do we go from here in this pendulum swing analogy? Right. And that actually I feel is the true evolution of our existence here. Because,
So, and also it's interesting, Henri, you do, you bring up that masculine. I want to check on that thing. So you were brought up, we were brought up really in two different worlds. Isn't that interesting? So we have really two beautiful different perspectives that we can share. But you actually brought in that element of the absentee father or the father who abandoned, the masculine that abandoned, which I think is a running theme for a lot of
women and men, but children, right? How many children were abandoned by their family, parents, loved ones? And you can have your father present, right? Because my father was in the home. He was physically there. Yeah. But at six years old, he stopped being there. Right. But he was in the house. Yeah. But he just stopped, right? Yeah. So that's interesting. Yeah.
So I don't know why that came in the field, but I think the important aspect is, you know, we were brought up in two, you know, kind of different households in that sense, but are seeing the same theme in what you just shared about the divine feminine. The best way to describe it is being over -masculated. And this has happened, you know, between the, you know, the eighties, the nineties, whatever.
Henri (27:18.894)
pantsuit, whatever. Elder pads, broad. And then we had to, so me growing up in this area and having babies and where I really felt very lost was, so we had to give birth to children, but then we also were expected to work. And then we didn't get paid equally. So there is some, and still today, we are not getting paid.
Equally we are not we're still being suppressed still not being respected and honored for our intelligence and and yes, it's gotten better So I guess there is an understanding why there is this anger and aggression like women are angry And for me that like I'm so tired of healing feeling hearing We've been done wrong by the masculine. It's almost this weird punishment
energy or this this weird empowerment thing that is out of alignment in my world. Yeah, because again, I bring back that aspect of war doesn't heal war. So, you know, I'm just going to say this to all my divine masculine leaders and fellow teachers. This is we need to come into the embodiment of cooperation with these masculine.
elements, which is really a body made of who we truly are. The nurturers, the caretakers, the loving mothers, that mothers, the humanitarians, along with the being allowed now to step into our intuitive power, our creation modality. Like we are creation, divine feminine. We are the makers, you know, we are the makers of the magic. Yeah. And.
That is how we truly help support the shifting of the masculine. And I feel very strongly until we do that within ourselves, it's not going to happen. And these masculine, I say poor masculine, they're not poor, but they're very curious now. And I'm finding more and more in even my circles that there is this desire, this curiosity and this desire to be like, OK, well,
Henri (29:43.854)
What does it really look like? What is it? Yeah. And again, circling back around to it starts with the individual because because honor you came in the embodiment of a man, but now you even have both, you know, your different preferences and everything. So you you probably even embody more of the divine feminine. You probably you could even be better off than I am. I don't know. Tell me about that. Yeah, I mean, I have actually very recently.
come to the realization that I have a what I would call feminine core. And that's to say that I, my dominant is more of the receiving, the nurturing, the connection with emotions and intuition is really the creativity, the flow that is my dominant energy. But I also have a very masculine energy about me too, because I will.
do all the things I will take action, I will put that energy, receive that energy and push that out there, right? And even as I say, push, that's where my work is on the masculine, right? Because pushing isn't necessary, pushing, depending on where it comes from is a little more in the wounded masculine, but it's, I can put that energy forth and I can hold that. But what has also happened for me is that my divine masculine, my wounded masculine has kind of put a,
its own suppression on that feminine core because it's not allowed. Boys don't cry. I grew up with all of that shit from the 90s. And so with that, it's like my creativity, my flow, my intuition only flows when I allow it to. And that's where I've recently come to understand where my work is. And even with creation of this podcast, suddenly I am allowing it to flow more. And...
And I'm so much happier. I can't tell you even just in the last month and a half of creating this podcast and really getting it off the ground, which by the way, I've been talking about it since 2018. It all started with a day that I finally said, just let this thing and you'll see the podcast come up. It's called Evil Bananas that will happen at some point. It's just a very quick solo episode, but I had this experience and I was like, get your ass in front of that mic and just let it out. Just let it flow through you. And I did. And suddenly I was like,
Henri (32:11.406)
wow, this is what it could be like to allow my creativity to flow without the restrictions of the goals and it must achieve this and it must do that and the pushing. And so that's where I'm at today. And the questions even that I have, and maybe we can explore this as well, is for someone like me, where do I fit into the bigger picture? Where do I fit in when I know that women's empowerment circles, women only,
spaces they must exist. Because to your point, there's been this legacy for millennia, multiple millennia, of the patriarchy suppressing that and creating unsafe spaces and unsafe structures. And so there is something so magical and so beautiful when there is a space for that. And similarly for men, there also needs to be a space for healing for men as well. So as I move in this and as I figure out kind of what
where I belong, I'm often left feeling like I don't necessarily have quite a home because I go into very divine masculine spaces and I see the things and immediately I seize up like, you know, my, my, my feeling this and my ability to get into the rage of the, of the, the divine feminine, right? The, the wounded feminine comes up and I immediately want to reject that. Right. But then when I'm in the divine feminine space, it's like, I'm good here, but I need both.
So that was a very long -winded way to talk about where I'm at. But that's, you know, it's an ongoing process. That's ongoing work. It's not straightforward. It's not linear. And the question still remains for me, where do I, someone with a feminine core and a man's body with a very strong masculine presence as well, where do I fit in? Right. Well, and that's where, so a couple beautiful things real quick. I love your...
the languaging of the wounded masculine and the wounded feminine. Because that's definitely what we're seeing and what does that look like or defining that. We could do a whole other podcast on trust, by the way. That's a whole other healing there. But where, if there's one take home, everyone listening to this conversation, I think, is what you kind of just laced in there at the end.
Henri (34:38.67)
is the pure awareness and acknowledgement that we each have a divine feminine aspect and a divine masculine aspect. If you can just create awareness around that, because I feel like that's a huge aha for most people, right? There's about 10 % of us that maybe work in this world, or the teachers, leaders, whatever. I hope they've even gotten this aspect.
or this idea of this download, the channeling. Because I don't know who your audience is, but I'm certain there is someone out there, the reason why we're having this conversation, that just has been train, taught, programmed, that I'm just the divine masculine, that's all I'm supposed to be, the breadwinner, this, that, and that's their paradigm, and they come home, and I think they're miserable. I just made an assumption.
But I feel like because the energy is shifting and it's rattling them, like these guys are like, shit, what do I do? And they're just trying to hold on to everything left that they, you know, that, you know, so that vision is coming through for me along with these beautiful embodiment, divine feminine women who in some sense are so misdirected because they too are so masculine.
And like we're trying to figure it out too. So I want to touch a little bit on that is like these, these beautiful circles that creating awareness around, they're both for women, women needs women circles. We need each other. And that is how we created. We were the createx, the illumination, all that beauty connecting. There's really something powerful in the women's circles along with likewise though the men need the same thing. Okay. But.
in that what I am seeing and what I'm, you know, gravitating away from, gravitating, that's the wrong term, where I am pushing away from, or I'm choosing, I'm making a choice. I have a choice on how I'm gonna represent myself as a divine feminine. And there are groups and circles, both masculine and feminine, but specifically these women circles that are not in alignment with what the true divine feminine energy is, in my opinion.
Henri (36:59.854)
This is purely my perception, but I know you guys know this out there where the anger, the rage is a pure emotion that needs to come out in women. But when it's directed towards the masculine, again, that's where war meets war. It's not the feeling.
and where the embodiment of the divine feminine, because we are the softer side, but the men want that too. That's the divine feminine within them. They need to maybe bring out vulnerability. That's a hot word. That's a hot topic. Yeah. Bringing the vulnerability aspect for men and women. And listen, I'm going to tell you out there to my ladies, my lady ladies, the way women treat each other.
That's a whole nother topic. These young girls right now, they are horrible to each other. So bringing that aspect of trust, women do not trust women. We need to start uplifting each other in this healing. And understandably so, the paradigm was, you know, women used to have to compete for their dowry, for their men, to get their husband, for survival. It was a journey of survival.
I wonder why we don't trust each other because it's like, hey, don't take my man, you know, I need to survive in my household. So there is that programming. We're shifting that program. We're going to transmute that programming ladies out there. But if you're a woman who has that in her, you know, I would want each of us to ask ourselves, what is that? You know, and learn to love on it. And that goes for men too.
And with you, Henri, I would say, there's almost this beautiful, I don't want to use the word. I use whatever word you need to for now. I almost wanted to say this like jealousy because in my eyes for you, your embodiment is more balanced. So that we could do a whole nother show on that. The embodiment of.
Henri (39:17.198)
you know, the masculine and feminine part of this purpose of your beautiful share with your podcast is learning. Like what do we do? Like you, you set forward a beautiful question. Where do you, what's your place in all of this? Yeah. Right. What is this place? Because I'm sure you are onto the two different polarities where our youth, I think, actually accept you for who you are.
And you probably accept the youth for who they are. But then we have, I'm going to just say the older generation, but there is the programmable generation. So I do feel like there are probably some youth that are misguided. But with that, I have the high hope that our youth, you know, are going to come in and step into this place. But then where we actually might feel like a little like, what the hell is going on? You know, and as far as I'm concerned, we either have to get in with the program.
or it's a vibrational shift or change where we are going to be, it makes it harder, right? We're going to get, we're going to go skippy, kicking and screaming, which I do see the happening in some arenas, but that fight, that competition fight and where if we can just land in the divinity of it all in the cooperation. So instead of competition for me,
The new word, the C word is cooperation. Yeah. Co -creation.
That to me, just saying that is the divine masculine energy. And my message to the masculine that are concerned about, my God, these women just want to take over. No, no, no, we don't have to. We are longing for the co -creation, the cooperation with the masculine. That's what it looks like in my world. And so within yourself, Henri, that's what.
Henri (41:23.47)
man, you described it beautifully that creation of you just getting that podcast out and doing that. Like there's this really beautiful field, right? When you're in creation, you lose track of time and space. That's the divine feminine and eating and remembering you don't have to eat, right? You almost forget like bodily functions. Yeah, bodily functions just slip away. Yeah.
It's like this quantum field. It is this quantum field. And so, you know, to my men out there, you know, that that,
I don't know why this coming through this feeling of having to prove themselves or whatever. Because men are made to be the creator, the doers and get things done. Like go get her done, right? The workers, that thing. But if you're a man who has felt into that space, your embodiment, let's say the embodiment, your physical self -representation is of a man.
that if you can get into that field, you want to feel like what the divine feminine feels like, that's it. It's this really beautiful quantum harmonizing, peaceful space of creation. Yeah. And I think, you know, a larger theme of this podcast is also about building a better relationship with yourself, right? We are always...
taught that everything is outside of us. That's a prevailing thing that I will be saying on probably 95 % of my podcasts, but we're taught that everything is outside of us. Everything that we want can be achieved through bringing something externally to help us with the internal. And in this sense, right, what I'm hearing is a big part of potentially building that stronger relationship with yourself might be understanding where you are in that or on that
Henri (43:33.518)
spectrum, right? I already said it. I've come to the realization that I have my core, my prevailing, predominant energy is feminine, but I still have a very strong masculine core too. And so that awareness of that has led me to know myself even more and understand that for me in order to be my happiest. And I'm always my guinea pig. I think people that are healers,
and coaches and therapists, we're probably our best guinea pigs because we kind of try the shit out before we really start to talk about it, right? And so for me, what I've noticed in just even the last, you know, six to eight weeks, the more that I'm leaning into my feminine and that is allowing things to flow, allowing my creativity to flow, allowing the word allowing just keeps coming up and not necessarily putting all of this pressure that I typically do with the...
again with the wounded masculine. But the more that I'm doing that, the more that I'm finding I'm doing just as much. I haven't stopped doing and putting the energy to go also outward from the inward. I'm doing but I'm coming from a place that is a lot more at ease, that is a lot more liberated and calm. And for me that is I think, and this could evolve, that is the best way for me to
operate. I have to come from this place of creativity and flow and downloads and intuition. I have to come from that first. And then I have to let that flow into my masculine. And when I don't, which is what I've been historically doing most of my adult life, I'm miserable. I'm miserable. And and so knowing ourselves and getting really clear on kind of where is that for you, I think could be a really
great way to start building that relationship with yourself. Right? What's the saying, there's a time to go and there's a time to flow or something like that. And I just think that that makes so much sense. And so where do you go and where do you flow and, and yeah, figure that out.
Henri (45:50.862)
And again, the most important aspect, I think of this entire conversation is for the individual to just bring that awareness forward of, gosh, maybe masculine and feminine energies are within me. Again, out there, all of you out there, if you just take that one aspect and look at yourself a little closer, you know, and...
With that, if you want, I kind of want to, I can only use myself as an example, right? I know nothing. I only know me and you even touched on it. Like you test out your theories and your stuff on yourself first. Okay. So I, you know, and I share this all the time in my circles and my stuff and everything, even in when I share the breath. So the only reason why I do breath, facilitate breath is because,
I actually had to experience a profound physical healing through the breath. Or I never would be doing this. So my journey has been, and this may not be everybody's, but through experience I have learned and then we are given our golden nuggets in teaching. So the reason why I think this conversation came up even with you and I decided to do a topic on it was it was screaming at me these...
emotional characteristics or whatever that I was carrying that I actually decided to dissolve within me. I have just gone through a catalytic from the solar eclipse or whatever, like a catalytic transformation. I mean, I truly have been Phoenix rising and I'm still rising out of my ashes. It's been a pretty interesting couple of weeks for me.
with that was learning and then shifting my embodiment of what the masculine actually meant. Cause I had a pretty good story going about myself and I was okay. And I'm all balanced. I would even have people walk up to me and my Zargo's, you're, you know, well, especially you always heard, you're so divine feminine. This is how I want to be. And then, you know, Ooh, you're really balanced in the masculine. You know, like, like, so I had a good story going on because we're all.
Henri (48:14.286)
makers of our creation of our stories. We are. But where, you know, spirit smacked me in the face. I always love it when that happens. I don't. I mean, I do, but I don't. I mean, you do. You know, it's both. Well, my teacher then this isn't for everybody. But by the way, I just share my personal stories. My teacher planet is Saturn. And through astrology, the Yodish tradition of astrology, Saturn is the grumpy old man.
So I get spanked and I get spank hard by my teacher planet Saturn. I love you. Anyhow, so, but here's the purpose of what I'm trying to bring about, which is really beautiful. We can even do this together if you want to. But I was shown by every single aspect in my life, you know, career, friendship, romance, all of my houses came for this aspect of competition, but trail.
Betrayal, which really now I'm discovering can be an aspect of both masculine and feminine. Because again, ladies, we need to stop betraying each other, stop treating each other this horrible way. But betrayal and, ooh, manipulation. You know, and I'm even ashamed to say, but I can because I'm a bigger person that I was, you know, well, I'll take children as an example. We as parents manipulate our children to get them to do certain things.
to go to bed early, eat your vegetables, whatever. That's manipulation. Okay, in my world, I have been shown in this moment in time that those are very masculine aspects and masculine aspects that came forward within myself that were dominating my personality. That it became very destructive and toxic in my life. Again, I'm a big enough person to admit it. Everybody has toxicity in their life.
And where I so beautifully shown this in such a loving way and where I was able to take a look at those aspects and love on them and also made the conscious decision that I was going to dissolve them in my life and out of my personality and practice them. So between the breath meditation and.
Henri (50:34.51)
The ceremonies I did around it, I really have found, like I come to you now, a more balanced masculine feminine. And I had some resistance to that, even in the women's circle that I sat in as I dissolved it. And I shared with them my reality check of, again, competition is the big one. And she's like, we need competition to survive. Competition's a good thing. And I'm like, I don't think so anymore.
I think we need to dissolve that out of our personalities, out of our embodiment, because I believe the true, all of my messages and downloads have been the true new energy, the evolution of our society right now is cooperation, is co -creation.
Whether you're in an embodiment of a masculine, feminine, or however you show up and you're in human embodiment, your spiritual being is begging for us to be in cooperation. Or another hot word for me is harmonizing. It's time for us to harmonize. And maybe even all of you out there, you're hearing that right now, right? You can take a deep breath together and just be like.
I'm gonna harmonize right now.
Like how good does that feel? Always amazing. Always good. Like that felt really good. You know, just right here in this moment is like all that harmonizing. Yeah. Cooperation. That's my mantra. Yeah. And I wonder. Doesn't have to be everybody's, but that's where I'm, that's how I'm rolling right now. Yeah. And I wonder with the breath, cause obviously that's one of, that's a really strong modality that you use in your healing work.
Henri (52:35.022)
and your facilitation, how does the breath come into play? Or how could it come into play when we think about, you know, the go and the flow? And how could part of that be used as a tool for healing between those two, you know, poles, the masculine and the feminine? Yeah. Well, and let's, you know, it's the ebb and flow, right? And let's even let's give them and it can work in both ways. But the breath is a perfect
representation of on that inhale, that's divine feminine. That's the expansion.
And on that exhale, that's the masculine support. Support yourself in the release of the breath, support yourself in the cleansing, the detox, and then let's bring in the gentle, divine feminine. The inhale, down into your belly.
Henri (53:39.47)
And then also though, it's one up you. So it could also be in the reverse. Well, loving you bring that breath up into the heart space. Wait, that would still be divine feminine for me. Breathing that breath up into the heart space, up into your lungs.
Again, expansion, holding it.
Henri (54:04.122)
feeling divinely held in that oxygenation of the inhale of the breath.
Right? So that could be a divine feminine, divine masculine, inhale, exhale, and breathe in. At the same time though, as I'm getting to download it, as it can be multiple things all at once, is that inhale can also be, let's try this. Are you ready? Yeah, of course. Let's bring in that inhale again in our belly. And that is being fully supported in the divine masculine. Let's feel supported and protected in our inhale.
So bring that into your belly.
and let's hold it, maybe some of you will even feel it, like push out that spine, the back of your spine, your lower back is actually like financial support, family support. And then on your exhale if you haven't already.
Let's sigh into the arms of the nurturer and the divine mother.
Henri (55:09.902)
So inhale fully supported by the masculine.
Henri (55:18.446)
And on that exhale surrendering, making yourself vulnerable, sinking into the aspect of the divine feminine.
Okay, it works both ways for me. Yeah. What do you think? How is that? You know, what was interesting is what when you said, you know, it's download, that that was something that already had popped into my head, which was, and what's really cool is even with that inhale that receiving of the breath, it is contained, it is held, it is, it is bound, there's a boundary there, that is your masculine.
right, is the forming of that container for the feminine. And so when they're in equity, when they're working in harmony and together, they just exist. Right. And you could say that, you know, as I'm breathing and I'm breathing into that masculine container, but that masculine container is allowing the feminine to fill up, to flow and to expand. Right. It's the same thing at the same time. Yeah, it's the same thing at the same time. And then when you blow it out, it's...
pushing that energy, right? And when we talk about manifesting and moving energy outward into the masculine, you're the only way that that was done was because you had taken in the feminine and now you've taken in the feminine, you've expanded and now you're blowing it out and you're putting it out into the world. And so all of that existed at the exact same time, which is why it is masculine and feminine. Hmm.
I'm hoping everyone else out there just got what just happened. It is both the inhale and the exhale is divine masculine and feminine. Like you can even breathe in one more time. We're like giving birth to life on that inhale and exhale and being supported by the divine masculine at the same time. And then on the exhale.
Henri (57:21.774)
We are being divinely and lovingly held in the divine feminine. Cause that exhale is being again supported. And it's almost the power behind the masculine that came in for me a little bit. That, that, that, you know, yeah, anyhow. That was awesome. That was great. I've always loved the moment. We just had a moment together. That was a great moment. That felt very,
very dropped in. And so I think when we, you know, because I always want to make sure that we're kind of not losing too much of the plot, but as we think about the masculine, the feminine, and we think about it being, again, the masculine and the feminine, cooperating, coexisting, co -creating with one another. When you can acknowledge that that is true, and that is happening, no matter if you're aware of it, or you're not, or you don't want to be aware of it right now.
Or maybe you could be aware of it in the future. Just hearing it and letting it be and letting it land where it lands for now with no pressure on it. That is, again, receiving and holding it masculine and feminine. And regardless of whether or not you do anything with that knowledge or whether or not you move forward, it's always, they're always existing in cooperation and coexistence. Right.
It coexists, yeah, the inhale and the exhale, but what it's doing all at the same time just coexists. So I would invite everyone out there as you're wanting to balance these two aspects is to use the breath.
Yeah. You know, use your inhale and exhale and always my little take home or golden nugget, because that's another reason why I feel like we're sharing this is just what we exactly just did everybody. It only takes a few breaths, by the way, to activate the parasympathetic system, get into the science, but to change your brain waves into this conscious created brain waves. But it is on the exhale, inhale.
Henri (59:37.998)
and the exhale. Yeah, both. So if you want to balance those within yourself, breathe it in both at the same time.
exhale out in co -creation, in cooperation, right? Yeah. And I can tell you right now, I could just sit here for the next hour and just totally be, and that would be completely fine with me. And that changed from just a few moments ago to now. Right? And so when we breathe in that energy, right, we can think about what is it we want to do with that energy and that reception and that...
expansiveness, and then we can put it out in the universe and declare it for ourselves. Right. So again, another way that you could take what we talk about with the masculine and feminine, the breath, the inhale, the exhale, and you can think about the creation and the birth, right, the creation and the movement of that energy into the universe, into the the field, right, if you want to talk about the quantum field of possibilities, which is really just everything everywhere all at once exists.
and is possible and we just need to bring that from the unconscious reality into the conscious and that is again everything working to ebb and flow together. Yeah. And it's in the breath right there. That's how we do it. We have access to it all the time. Yeah. It is our most free and available gift to us. And it's right there. And isn't it nice to know?
we can access it at any point that we want to bring some conscious attention to it. Yeah, that's magical. Yeah, thank you for those little shares you sound I know you get that that's what I share. The breath is a tool toolbox you carry with you all day long. It's free. It's like, it's so simple. Right? Yeah, that is what it's so simple and the silly humans are so goofy. We make everything so hard.
Henri (01:01:44.814)
Right. And I actually had forgot that those were your words. See, they, they incepted me and I just. You're such a good student. It was like I was hearing myself for a moment. I love you. Yeah, I love you. As we wrap up this conversation, I would love for people to be able to know where they can find you and if they want to work with you or maybe attend a breath work session with you or with the collective, where could they do that? Yeah, that's wonderful. So.
My home base is in Virginia, Richmond, Virginia, but I do travel to Oklahoma. I'm like, I have all these pinpoints everywhere. I'm now back out to California again. So I am doing offering live breath work, but mostly in Virginia at either Studio D Yoga or Soul Shine. So I think the best thing is to direct people to my website, which is Breath Work Worldwide. Breath Work Worldwide, I usually do all my offerings.
I am on Meetup. I am posting some stuff now on Eventbrite. I guess people are wanting me to do things on Eventbrite to find my offering. So I do live ceremonial breath, you know, in -person ceremonial breath. I almost don't want to plug it. I used to do a lot of virtual breath, especially through the virus, right? I am so busy now. I do not have as much time as I had. So I'm...
going to try to figure out a way to maybe put out some recordings. But can I share some cool things that I'm super duper excited about? I would love to hear it. Absolutely. So I saw this, I kept having everybody come in wanting to train to be a breathwork facilitator or a breath facilitator. So I now took the time over the past couple of months to release my online ceremonial breath facilitation program. And here's how it works.
You register, you go in, it is an individual, you know, motivated person. So if you're good with online learning and you can watch some videos and then though to keep in that essence of, so I like to teach and this energetic like you and I even talking in person right now, even though I know our vibration is going to emanate out and people are going to receive this message, whatever we shared exactly the way they need to. That's the beauty of technology. Yeah.
Henri (01:04:10.734)
using technology. However, at the same time, I still love my one -on -ones and I want to hear from my students and I want to hear their experiences and also make sure that they are embodying and absorbing the material that I'm sharing because it's very important to me. Take myself a little too serious about this rough practice. So long story short, it is available online. So the knowledge, the wisdom is online and then.
Once you finish each module, you check in with me in person to get a live person check in that you schedule yourself. So I have that both my ceremonial breath now and also my medicine will revealed, which you really, you know, to explain what the medicine wheel is, go to my website, do a discovery call with me because you can't even, I cannot even explain the massive healing that is. But talk about wanting to balance your divine masculine and feminine. It won't happen.
two ways with both of those offerings through the breath and through the medicine wheel. So that's a curiosity. Maybe some of you all will investigate or look at it. And I'm currently in her breath work one. So I am a student in there right now. So I can tell you that it's, it's been really wonderful so far. And even just one of the first exercises of asking about your why and really sitting in the body and being like, why am I here?
Right. And being honest about that, right, there's parts of it where it's, you know, developing my coaching business. Right. But the greater part of that for me is I was so absent from my body. Right. Let's talk about the masculine and feminine imbalances. If I was in my body, if I was in my body, that was being in my feminine. That was where my emotions were. That was where the tears were, the rage, where the pain was. But if I was there,
That was scary. That was unsafe because I was, big boys don't cry, right? Men don't do this, right? So for me, I was a, I'm a master disassociator. I can, I can feel a thing and say, nope, I'm done and shut it off like a valve, right? But the more I get into my body, the more that I realize that that really is my medicine. That bridge, that balance of both.
Henri (01:06:29.838)
is where my medicine lies. And so for me, just getting clear on that was so much fun and so beautiful to sink into that and really use that to underpin my entire journey. So long story short, I'm in the training. I love it so far. And I highly recommend it for anybody that's looking to learn breathwork and specifically the ceremonial part of breathwork is also in her, in her course. So definitely check it out. I will drop that in the show notes, of course.
as well as her website and where you can also connect with her on socials if you want. But thank you so much for this conversation today. This has been so wonderful. And frankly, that last part was really the... That was... That was it. That was it. We were both telling that at the same time. Yeah, I'm going to buzz off. I do want to take a moment, on Teresa Waits. So as you are learning and receiving the wisdom of the breath,
as I do like to teach it both in the ceremonial way, the way I do it, but you don't have to do it my way. That's what the magic also of the course is. And so I want to mark this and time and space right now in this moment. We knew you when, and because I know I've just seen your evolution. It's been so beautiful and such an honor for me. So thank you so much. Gratitude to you. It's just, you have, it's just, you are a soul brother.
to me for sure in our meeting. There are no mistakes. And I'm honored to be your mentor and teacher in that. And with that, everyone else out there, watch out because, Henri, I feel, I see, or we're gonna create your creation in the breath as you are going to be sharing it on both this podcast, in your coaching, and just elevating that up. And this...
golden nugget that we just realized together in this moment of the breath being both the co -creation of the cooperation of demigod, masculine and feminine was magic.
Henri (01:08:38.35)
Pure magic. Right? so good. I just want to sit in that for a moment. I know, giving you a hug. So good. Virtual hugs. Yes, virtual hugs. So thank you very much. This was wonderful and slightly unexpected, but also expected at the same time. And I can't wait to have you back because I know that there's so much more that we could get into. We probably dropped at least six more episodes. Yeah. So we'll figure that out sometime in the future.
And for now, that's all we have for today. So thank you for listening and tuning into Living Beyond Expectations with Melissa Therese McLaughlin. She is again, if you can already tell, a goddess. And she is a breath facilitator, teacher, mentor, shamanic wisdom, medicine carrier. And this conversation was all about the masculine and feminine. And tune in next time and I'll see you later.