Join Henri and Jen Legaspi as they explore the transformative concept of 'burning it all down,' discussing the challenges of navigating external expectations, the importance of authenticity, and aligning one's business with personal values. They delve into the internal struggles of perfectionism, the fear of judgment, and the significance of listening to one's body and intuition.
In this episode, Henri interviews Jen Legaspi, a coach, yoga teacher, and author, about her journey of personal and professional growth. They discuss the challenges of being seen and heard in the business world, the impact of childhood wounds on self-expression, and the importance of authenticity and sovereignty in creating a business that aligns with one's values. Jen shares her experience of feeling stifled by the traditional corporate approach to marketing and the pressure to conform to certain standards. They also explore the concept of burning it all down, which represents a desire to break free from oppressive structures and create a business that is heart-centered and aligned with one's true self.
Takeaways
Love this episode? Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review to join others in discovering and nurturing your greatest power: your relationship with yourself.
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Jen Legaspi is a Women’s Transformational Coach, Yoga Teacher, Author, and Columnist. As a recovering perfectionist, Jen's journey to authenticity began with a brave leap towards self-discovery after a life filled with societal expectations and external validations. Her wake-up call came in the form of an unexpected divorce, which led her to confront her inner critic and the childhood wounds that shaped her.
Jen's profound inner work has allowed her to transform self-doubt into self-trust, regulate her nervous system, and embrace her true voice. Now, she helps others navigate their own paths to self-love and authenticity, drawing on her certifications in Master Life Coaching, Integrative Wellness Coaching, and Yoga. Jen's story is one of resilience, growth, and the empowering realization that true worth comes from within.
Learn more about Jen: https://jenlegaspi.com/
Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenlegaspi.coach/
Buy her book: Brave Wise Woman: Transform The Fallout Of Your Breakup Into Your Power
Gazelle Escapes Hyena AND Cheetah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lupt2qajcJg
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction
02:28 The Desire to Burn it All Down
08:12 The Challenges of Being Inside Someone Else's Container
13:57 The Impact of Childhood Wounds on Self-Expression
23:56 Burning it All Down: Finding Authenticity in Business
32:21 The Freeze State and the Inability to Create
35:12 Burning it All Down: Embracing Sovereignty
39:23 Listening to the Yes and No in Your Body
42:08 Next Steps for Jen
Henri (00:00.174)
You're listening to Living Beyond Expectations, a podcast dedicated to exploring what life could be like if we believe that our greatest source of power is within us, that we have everything we need to live life more freely, more joyously, and bigger than anything we could ever imagine. I'm Henri Emile, your host, coach, and recovering people pleaser. And today I'm joined by Jen Legaspi. She is a friend, she is a colleague, a coach supporting other women through transition, a yoga teacher, and she's an author and columnist.
And through an unexpected divorce, she found herself more free, braver, and more loving and peaceful. In today's conversation, we talk about Jen's coaching business and how who she serves and how she serves is shifting and evolving as she evolves. And even though this isn't a business podcast, it's interesting because the conversation inevitably leads to talking about how we are human beings showing up in our businesses. This is a juicy conversation talking about shame, visibility, childhood wounds,
so much more. I hope you enjoy it. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Living Beyond Expectations wherever you get your podcasts. And if you're a returning guest and continuing to find value, I'd love it if you could give a rating or review. Today, I am joined by someone who I find very special and have recently been able to reconnect with. We both actually went through our coaching program together. And so we have a very shared history there that I think connects us on a bunch of different levels, including
our educational background, how we think about coaching, how we approach coaching. Also the program we went through, Elementum, really puts you kind of through the wringer when it comes to the experiential aspects of dealing with your shit just as much as you are learning it. And Jen is someone who I find to be so open and such a good storyteller and really someone that I admire and respect.
And I'm so excited to have her here today. Jen, how's it going? Hi. Hi. my God. I'm so grateful to you. And I'm just so thrilled to be here and talking with you as always. We, we, we dive into it sometimes. So I'm glad that this gets to be an extension of that. And one of the things we were talking about just the other day as we were kind of reorienting ourselves of what we were going to talk about here today was this idea of burning it all down.
Henri (02:28.494)
And so I'd love to dive into kind of where that sentiment came from and what kind of got us here today. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a powerful phrase, burning it all down, you know? And...
Henri (02:48.75)
You know, entrepreneurship is a journey. I've been, I've been slowly over the past year and a half, I've been really working on being seen and sort of edging my way out of my comfort zone. And it looks like a lot of different things. But for me, I recently had an opportunity to provide value for a support group on Facebook with
several thousand members. And I've been going through this process of creating content, delivering content, trying to get people engaged in the content. And it's been that is its own journey in and of itself. And recently, I decided that I wanted to do market research and really find my
ideal client in this haystack of thousands of people. Yeah, the ideal avatar. Gotta love that. Yeah, that's always a fun time. And even that process of identifying who really is my ideal client, like who is it? Who is it? Is it this person? No, it's this person. Keep refining, refining, refining. One of the things that I think is so important,
when it comes to, and this is not a business podcast by any stretch of the imagination, but one of the important things to, I think, to note when it comes to things like being inside of someone else's container, it is really challenging if that person isn't necessarily holding the container in a way that works best for you, right? That could mean that as you, as a person in the way that you are used to this, this, and this,
that might not be present or maybe it's, you know, especially I believe it, you said it was in Facebook and Facebook, Facebook has an algorithm that really doesn't care about serving content unless you're paying for it. And so I think that those types of things makes it really hard when you're inside of someone else's space rather than it being a space that you are in charge of and that you get to really cultivate the energy and how you show up. And just speaking to that part, just for a moment, you know, it's like somebody else is holding the masculine.
Henri (05:08.27)
while you're trying to flow within somebody else's structure. And it can be challenging if you're not the one who's doing both, just like you like you said. Yeah. And just just to quickly talk about that too. Just for those that might not be kind of familiar when we say the masculine and the feminine, because I know that we'll probably mention a few times throughout our conversation today, can you
Talk a little bit about what you mean when you say someone else holding the masculine.
Henri (05:44.622)
When we think of the masculine, we think of...
Henri (05:50.87)
presence, steadiness, structure. And when we think of the feminine, we think of flow. And the two work together. And just like you say, when it's your container, you get to do both. You understand the container that you, the structure that you're operating in, and you can flow within the structure. Yeah.
When somebody else is holding that structure, it's not totally clear. Like, for example, who's in your container? What stage on their journey are they? And from what I could tell, it was, you know, undefined. You would find people at the beginning stages, at the pre stages, the beginning stages, the, in the thick of it. And then afterwards, and by the way, this is a.
divorce support group. So you're going to have people who are... Yeah. That has the markings of a potential complete shit show for sure. Yeah. And especially when we're talking about something like transition, a major life transition, that can be such a journey for each individual person. What can be quick for one person takes a long time for somebody else. So...
It's really hard to say, well, you know, it's like there's the change and then there's the transition part, the personal. And so you could file for divorce, for example, and get divorced, like have it be official. But you could be anywhere on that. You could be still grieving by the time your divorce is official. You know, whereas for somebody else, they might have grieved.
along the way and they've just eager, eager, eager, okay, done. And then they're free there. They feel free. And then, you know, life seems to move on for them. So, so coming, coming back around to structure, those, that delineation isn't clear. And so,
Henri (08:12.654)
really I'm coming into the group and I'm speaking to an audience that I have no clue where they are in their journey. And I'm thinking like, what have I been doing all this time? You know, I just want to like, you know, I've been investing in myself, investing in my business, investing in experts in their field, business coaches. And I've certainly been making progress, which is worth celebrating for sure.
and learning totally and, and really overcoming my fear of failing, you know, being willing to step outside my comfort zone, try something that's not working, try something else. What's interesting about you saying, you know, I'm learning and I'm trying things that are new and not working. And in part of what we were talking about was also that it felt very stifling to you to do it this way.
Right. Exactly. One of the things that I told you, because I have a marketing background and one of the things I know to be true, even as I try to do this marketing thing for my own business, is that we are trained to do it in the corporate way. You have to have this KPI and the hook, which we've talked at length about the CTA, all of that crap. Right. And not to say that there isn't value in any of it, but it also is devoid of any.
There's no soul there, right? To your point, there's no heart, there's no feminine. None of that stuff is present when you're talking about the hook and making sure that you could write. Because what is a hook? A hook is hooking someone in, getting your hooks into them so that they stick around, right? Which isn't necessarily about providing value and being of service. That's about some algorithmic social media best practice, whatever. And that's it.
It's all devoid of heart. Yeah. Yeah. And what's interesting is as I've, you know, I've been, you know, posting, trying to add value on my Instagram, trying to connect with people who I might want to work with. And I had been, you know, turning some attention from that to.
Henri (10:36.494)
serving this Facebook group audience, and a lot of energy, a lot of time, a lot of heart going into that. And that sort of migration of my energy didn't actually come from nowhere. I was already kind of feeling something wasn't right, something wasn't right, you know, and like feeling kind of, you know, I couldn't flow with.
whatever I might want to say, you know, for example, Instagram, okay, can only have this many characters. Well, you know, that's, that's limiting. That's an example of structure. And, I'd already intuitively been feeling like, you know, some sort of internal frustration around what I've been doing. And so I'm trying to speak to women who are at a crucial major life.
point life transition, you know, and it's a transformation process. Of course, heart. And I, you know, when I think about how much money that I've invested in all these experts, I just literally wanted to take my arm and go, I want to burn it all down. This is not how I want to do it. This is not feeling right for me.
And I'm just in a state of devastation. Even as you're talking about that part of the woman that you're talking about is experiencing her own portal into this new whatever life existence, et cetera, for her, it's also you're now talking about you going through another moment of transformation yourself.
and what that really means. And, you know, one of the things that we also talked about is how, when you have that lack of heart, when you have the over -dominant structure of the masculine, in particular in your marketing, that has no consideration for your nervous system, right? You talked about wanting to show up more, right? But that doesn't take any consideration, that that can be really challenging and also showing up,
Henri (13:00.174)
What does that really mean? Right? Does that mean that it's physically my face in front of the screen and that's me showing up? Or is it my energy, my presence, my time, my message? And most, most business coaches don't take that into consideration. And I think that brings up a greater point of just this idea as a whole in our society. There's often in this cookie cutter way that we should be operating and that we should be proceeding and that we should way that we should be being.
And it's not necessarily aligned with who we are, what we actually want. And so then we try to twist and contort and, and do the right thing. And oftentimes it leads to being really fucking frustrating. Totally. And anytime that we listen to the sheds, we're giving our power away to that. Yep. And I, you know,
Part of this all is also this realization for me that still, here's this thing I'm creating and I'm building and I've done a lot of work and I'm still giving my power away. It's devastating. And it's also a growth edge, a growth point. You know? You get to...
Our business is a reflection of who we are. Everything we have in life is a reflection of who we are. It's just another way to see yourself in the world. And so how do I want to show up for this business? I want to show up with it with heart, show up for it with heart and with love, which is actually one teaching that I got from one of the containers I was in last year.
And I don't think it really resonated with me until the other day. What that really, really means. And sometimes it doesn't. I've totally been there where I've heard something and all of a sudden I'm on a subway or I'm waiting for a subway. And for some reason, those words will echo in the back of my mind. And suddenly it's like, shit, that's what they were talking about. wow. now I get it.
Henri (15:24.302)
Right? It can hit you at any moment. And sometimes it just takes to have a conversation with someone that is maybe tapping into that energy and kind of connecting dots for you, even though they're not, they have no idea that you had that thing last year or whenever it was. Right. Yeah. Right. And that's even true with our clients. You know, we can work with clients and we can, you know,
We can model things for them. We can teach them things and say things, share stories, but until you're actually ready to see the thing, you won't see the thing until it's time for you to see the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so one of the other things I think that you kind of brought up, which I, you know,
called it the original shame and you I think you were calling it the OG shame. OG shame. OG shame. So talk to me a bit about kind of some of the other things that came up in this. And the reason why I want to talk a little bit about this is it's you know, this is about business and yet we show up to our business. So how is it not also personal? Right. Yeah, talk to me about your about the OG shame. The OG shame.
And this is the beauty, right? Of like how dots can be connected for us in unexpected ways. So I was scrolling through Instagram and somebody put up a post and it was about the nervous system and specifically about shame. And.
Henri (17:15.63)
the way she was talking about it, you know, when somebody is in a state of shame, right there, they are dysregulated in the nervous system, like in a state of freeze, contracting, holding, right, staying small. And when you're in that state, it's, it's hard to find the words sometimes to express and
people were leaving comments. I forget the question she asked the end of her post. And I thought about it. And you know, there's this childhood experience that keeps coming up for me in terms of like, you know, I keep trying to sort of, I like to look at it from different angles. And it finally made sense, which is, you know, I often say I'm recovering perfectionist, right? So, so where does that come from? Okay.
You know, and it can come from many sources. But for me, I was punished when I was a child for not behaving the way that the oldest daughter, the good girl, the straight A student was expected to behave with their siblings. And I would get sent to my room. Go to your room. And that's the first shame. The second shame for me.
was coming out afterwards and trying to connect with my parents and being, you know, crying, terrified because we already know that children, the world is all about them and anything that happens in their world, but you know, it's their fault, my fault. And so I'm already now building a story that, you know, if, if.
I'm not behaving in a certain way. I'm going to lose love and connection. And so here I am coming out of my room in tears. And then my parents would say, like, why are you crying? We can't talk to you when you're crying. And then that was the second shame. So I was shamed twice in the way that they parented me. And certainly, you know, they may not have known that that
Henri (19:39.886)
was going to have that kind of impact. My parents were definitely in their shit and you know, not evolved or, or, you know, they were young parents and the whole thing, but yeah, see adult in me now knowing and looking and saying, okay, with all my knowledge and all my healing, whatever, but I can see that, but the child part of me, the young girl didn't know that. And so,
So that's what I mean by the OG shames is the part of me that I learned to cry because that's how I could try and get attention. And for something that I couldn't even express, like I literally in those moments was not able to find the words to talk. All I could do was cry and I was ashamed for crying.
Henri (20:36.846)
Yeah, and you know, it's interesting with our parents. I think more and more people are coming around to realizing this, but you know, I'll be one of the people in the choir. And this is not to excuse, this is not to say it was okay, because none of it was okay. And our parents were in their own shit too, as you said. And they're dealing with their stuff, which is inherited.
from their parents and their parents are dealing with the stuff that they inherited, right? And it just keeps going back and back and so on and so forth. And it's just all of this unhealed stuff that just keeps shifting from one generation to the next. And again, it's not to say that them saying, we can't talk to you when you're crying is okay, because it's absolutely not. And there's like this weird.
fucked up thing, especially as you get into the work that we're in where it's like, but I also hold this compassion for them. Because I, I understand them. I see them as human beings, right? We think parent and parent means that you're only supposed to do this. And frankly, I don't even know where we got that idea. Like, is that some idyllic, like 1920s 1930s parenting thing that your parents are supposed to be these perfect little homemakers? And yeah, they're not.
are just human beings raising other human beings to hopefully survive in the world. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, when I see, when I, when I think about, okay, that sort of kind of critical parenting or harsh, you know, punishment oriented parenting. and I take a look at my father, for instance. And once, you know, after he passed, I was, and I was writing my book.
I started to dig into what was his relationship like with his parents and his grandparents. I see that my dad was all in his pain, all the time in his shame. He had a father who didn't think he was really going to amount to much.
Henri (22:58.606)
you know, and was that kind of critical, harsh parenting style. So he learned from his dad and then now he passed it to me, you know, and it really isn't something that I should be carrying. There's my shit, but you know, it's, it doesn't belong to me. I never did. And that's why it's so important for people to do their work, right? To really discern what belongs to me.
what belongs to someone else. Yeah. Whose water am I carrying today? That just - Who's in my backpack. Yeah, who's in my backpack. Who's in my backpack. Yeah, absolutely. And so for you kind of bringing it back to this, burn it all down, this original shame, how do those things kind of intermingle one another?
Henri (23:56.814)
For me.
There's this commonality around voice and authenticity and expression. You know, feeling like...
trying to find the words here, trying to find the words.
Henri (24:20.622)
not being seen for who I was instead of what I did, not feeling confident in being able to speak up and.
that thread still showing up for me in terms of what I'm creating and feeling like, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I thought, gosh, I really want to talk about this. And I'm like, well, I'm scared. I'm scared to speak into certain topics. Like I know my truth, but being terrified to speak my truth, you know,
not wanting to.
be sued or not wanting to, you know, and that would just be another form of parental punishment. You spoke up. We're gonna, you know, you, you dare to, to express your feelings. You were sad or you needed, you know, your crying was your way to connect and you were ashamed and you were totally completely shut down. We can't talk to you when you're like this.
Right. And so as little kids, we might not have the beautiful words that we've been able to articulate now. I think when we we get to where we are in our coaching education, we start to be able to really sink in and dial into the perfect way to, you know, sometimes almost give this flowery lens of of language on our shit. And at the end of the day, it smells just as bad as anybody else's. And.
Henri (26:11.246)
over you, you're being constantly shut down. And so then when it comes to expressing yourself authentically, you then also add the layer of these people that are saying, okay, you can express yourself, but if only if it's in this way, only if you have the hook, only if you have this ETA, only if you put all that the data about all these steps in place, that's the only way you're allowed to express yourself. So it really feeds right into that exact
moment or the collection of moments with your parents saying we can't do this because of this, right? It's conditional. Yeah, yeah. And, and even approaching my even though you know, I say I'm recovering perfectionists and yes, I'm breaking down the walls of that, you know that still there are threads of it that want to show up in my business. Because
you know, it's about perception and if someone gonna, you know, and cancel culture or whatever, you know, it's not gonna connect with me, you know, it comes back to that primal need for belonging and wanting to be seen. And with perfection, what's really interesting is, you know, people will look at that and they see what's on the outside and they're like, we were put together. you know exactly how to express yourself. you're a great storyteller. But they don't understand that underneath that,
Inside is internal turmoil The inner turmoil that goes on there's a cycle of anxiety and shame I sometimes refer that I like to refer to that as When people make comments about that type of thing or or wow your follow -through is so great is a comment that I often get and what I What I then respond to my other friends where I'm like that really frustrated me is it's it's almost like I?
Not quite this, but it's almost like it dehumanizes me because it says I'm this thing and you don't know the cost to that. What do you think that it requires of me? You know, going back to what I said about being the follow through guy, what do you think that requires? I have to constantly be paying attention to everything and making sure that I don't drop any of the dozens of plates. And so for you as a perfectionist, you have all your shit together. Why you're so good at all of that? There's a cost for you.
Henri (28:35.566)
And as you say, there's this internal turmoil. They have no idea what it requires for you to look put together on the outside. my gosh. I mean, on so many fronts, you know, between like my younger days, it was like how much money I spent on the way I looked my much younger days. And, and, and then today, today's world, right? It's more of the, you know,
you're constantly like you want to push the edge. You want to step out of the comfort zone and the anxiety that goes on inside the fear. And for me personally, my cost was insomnia. I struggled with insomnia for so long, you know, just waking up at three in the morning, being terrified, like, did I say the wrong thing? Did I do the wrong thing?
You know, this fear of being punished for just being who I am and saying what I needed to say. And the rub of it is that person that said, you look so put together, the person, you know, in that conversation you were having or that exchange or that post you did or whatever, they're, they're not seeing any of that. They are seeing put together, Jen, you got, you have all the answers, you have all the perfect words, you're saying everything. They have no idea. Right. And this isn't,
talking more about the cost. It's like, we're projecting our own stuff then back onto them. Right, because we're assuming that they saw all the flaws, or they, you know, that somehow maybe they know that we woke up at 3 a thinking about this thing when they never gave it a second glance.
Yeah, yeah. It's devastating really, especially when you're trying to create, you know, and that anxiety can be so crippling, it'll keep you from creating. There's some of the work that I do is generative trance. And in that they call it neuromuscular lock. And what that really just means is that there's a constriction that happens. And when you're in that place of constriction and
Henri (30:53.742)
I think you might've mentioned earlier the freeze state, right? When you're kind of frozen, which means you're just overwhelmed and instead of running, you're not running from the thing, you're not kind of acquiescing and just being like, let's get it over with. You're actually just frozen. You're in mode. It's almost like being immobile. You're just like, deer in the headlights. And from that place you cannot create, because your body then goes into survival mode, right? I always love that video.
even though it's obviously very intense, but like the video of the gazelle being dragged around. Like, you know, the video there, this gazelle is being, I'll include it where the show notes for those who are curious, but it's like, it's fascinating because this gazelle gets caught by, I think it, I think it's a tiger. Maybe it's a lion gets dragged over to this little area and to everybody on the camera. It looks like the gazelle has just dropped dead.
And even to what again, whether it's a lion or a tiger, they think so too, because the, the, the, the, the, the cat, the large cat of some kind, kind of takes it, lets it, lets its guard down. And the minute it did that, that gazelle bolted away, got away. Right. And, and, and that's kind of what happens when you freeze. Like you just kind of play dead and ordered for the thing to pass and you cannot create from that place.
You can't. And the other thing to mention about freeze is, is there is that that like the whole everything hold like you're holding your breath, everything constricts, get really, you know, but at the same time, you have anxiety, you want to be acting, you want to be speaking, you want to take action, and you can't. Yeah, it's awful. Yeah. And it's biologically appropriate, right? It's like,
Well, that's how your nervous system is trying to keep you safe. But being in that state of, you just can't, your feet are planted. Yeah. And so if you can't be perfect, then you enter in this free state.
Henri (33:13.07)
And then you're being told that you still have to go out there and post five days, five days a week on Instagram in order to keep your algorithm happy and in order for you to be seen and noticed. And at the end of the day, it's, it almost kind of sounds like what you might be experiencing. Of course, correct me, but being seen seems to actually be the secondary point at this, at this stage. It almost feels like it's not about being seen. It's you're tapping into this, this
core wounding, for lack of a better term, that prevents you from being able to just create. Yeah. Is that fair? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everything feels oppressive. You know, the formatting or I don't think formatting is the right thing, but like your, you know, your hook, your structure, your structure.
You know, it feels oppressive and I feel like, you know, you know, it's like a prison, you know, it's the idea of burning it all down includes this idea of feeling caged and just wanting to, you know, continue to like bust those walls down. Yeah. You know, and so.
What would burning it down look like? Right? So we're just to kind of recap for everybody. Burning it down is in reference to kind of how you're operating your business and how you're talking and how you're showing up in that place of the structured masculine versus the more creative flow of the feminine. And so if we're, you know, figuring out a new, you know, a new way to talk to and to connect with our audience, what does that mean to burn it all down?
Henri (35:12.174)
What does it look like? Being unapologetically sovereign in your choice to do it the way you want to do it. Hmm. Preach it. I mean, I...
You know, and yet that, so this is an example of freeze in, in this context that we're talking about. It's like, you know, the action I'm wanting to like, I want to take action and I want to like burn it down. And yet the fear, the fear. No. And even as you said earlier, you've also invested so much time, money, energy into where you are today.
that I can imagine that burning it down also kind of means, did I waste all of that? Yeah. It was all of that for nothing. Yeah. I definitely had that experience yesterday when we were talking of like, should I just give it up and just another check the box? I tried it, you know.
and then I think about the alternative.
And the alternative doesn't feel very good, doesn't feel very heart centered, doesn't speak to my calling, speak to who I want to be in the world and who I want to serve and how I can serve.
Henri (36:50.222)
You know, as you said, it feels oppressive. It feels oppressive. Yeah. And there's another piece here too, which is, you know, women also carry genetically the trauma from.
ancient history, being burned at the stake, killed for being perceived as witches, and a threat to society for bringing an alternate view to the table. And I remember very clearly this moment when I was writing my book. I struggled so hard with the fear of speaking my truth, the fear of
any kind of legal ramifications and how many times I edited my voice down and edited my voice down. And as I got to the end,
close to it, not quite there, but I remember this one day, it was still so visceral for me. I was in the backyard and just this feeling of sheer terror just was like running through my body. Sheer terror, like I've never experienced before. I was doubled over in pain.
and I called a woman, a spiritual coach I worked with, Shamanic.
Henri (38:25.87)
And I said to her, I think this is old. I don't understand. And so she gave me some medicine that I needed so deeply to move that through, to allow my voice to be heard, and just to keep moving forward. You know, because we all carry medicine of some kind. All of us do. All of us have a story that deserves to be heard.
That story is medicine for someone You know, yeah Yeah, yeah, I think some of the key messages that I'm I'm taking away from this conversation is really about building that relationship with your body and understanding its cues and understanding what feels good and what doesn't feel good and Knowing that you have choice
Right, and that yes, of course, if the only way to do it is with a hook and the CTA, and I know we've said those words a thousand times, but if the only way to do it is to have those things, let's at least get really comfortable with our message and our body and expressing ourselves. And maybe later we can worry about that. Or maybe we just do it our own way anyways. It feels good in our body. We don't feel triggered. We don't feel freezing. We don't wake up at 3 a to
to freak out because, did we say the wrong thing? And we just do it and we do what feels right and we do that. We listen to the nudge in the moment and we share something. And what if in the end, it didn't matter, you didn't need a hook because your audience still found you, the people that needed your medicine still discovered that you exist on this planet, that you can serve me the medicine that my soul, that my body needs. And you did it your own damn way.
There's a yes and a no in our body, a natural yes and no. And learning what your yes and your no is. Are you leaning in? Does it make you feel open, spacious, and excited, creative? Or do you feel contracted, closed off, shut down? You know, does something excite you or does something...
Henri (40:52.398)
really, really shut you down, you know, and, you know, reflecting back and I'm like looking into out into the jungle here, you know, and I'm like, I, I think now just how many times I've had that nudge and how many times I kept saying, well, the structure, I don't know how that's going to be a value, how I would help translate that for somebody. So maybe I'll just keep that for myself for now. And I think that.
from myself personally, it's now gonna start to be more paying attention to those nudges and noticing, does it make me feel open or does it make me feel closed? And if it makes me feel open, then that's a yes. That's my yes. And just to go out there and just put it out in the world. And I think for,
a lot of the audience, it's really about paying attention and figuring out where your yes is, right? And where your no is. totally. It's the foundation for everything.
Yeah. If it's not, if it's not vibrating, it's migrating is a thing that I said a few weeks back that I thought was hilarious. And so yeah, it's not vibrating. It's migrating. And on that, thanks so much, Jen, for joining me here today on one of my very first episodes for this show. And I'm sure you'll be back. So thanks again. I love that. Congratulations. This is awesome.
It's a beautiful conversation. Yeah, the world needs your medicine. I appreciate that. I received that. Thank you. Thank you for tuning into today's conversation with Jen Legaspi. If you're curious to learn more about her work, you can visit her website at jenlegaspi .com or find her on Instagram at jenlegaspi .coach, which I'll also drop in the show notes. Stay tuned for next week's episode where we start dropping solo episodes on Mondays with yours truly for a little dose of what I'm calling my Monday musings.
Henri (43:08.334)
Otherwise, let me know what landed for you in this episode. I'd love to connect with who's listening. Until next time.